Rites of Passage

I’ve mentioned before that my husband and I are members of a local park. It’s just beautiful all year-round in different ways and includes walking paths, a historic home, museum, playground, and tons of gardens. When the weather is nice and the flowers are at their peak, we see many lovely ladies in their glittering, hoop-skirted ballgowns and tiaras having their pictures taken amid dashing young men. They’re celebrating their Quinceanera. I love seeing the many different colors of dresses, all sparkly and all so large it’s hard to see the girls hidden underneath.

I’m not familiar with what goes on at a celebration of this nature so I did a little research. While doing this, I came across other rites of passage, all having a similar purpose; the Bar and Bat Mitzvah, and the Rumspringa. Each one in its own form marks the time in a young person’s life when they become an adult.

The Quinceanera is specifically for a young Latina on her 15th birthday. It is both a religious and a social celebration. The family and the girl’s godparents celebrate a mass followed by a reception or party. The reception is as elaborate as the family’s means will allow but it is usually an affair to remember. The guest of honor is accompanied by her court of damas (maids) and chambelanes (chamberlains). There is much dancing, often including a choreographed waltz-style dance as the main event of the night. It also involves customs such as presenting a doll to a younger sister and putting on heels for the first time, both indicating a transition into womanhood.¹ There is a lot of planning that goes into a Quinceanera, much like planning a wedding.

In the Jewish community, when a youngster turns 13, they celebrate their Bar (male) or Bat (female) Mitzvah.¹ This is where they assume the responsibilities of a Jewish adult. The amount of planning for one of these celebrations is extraordinary. There is the ceremony itself which is rich with history, culture, and rituals to perform as well as a large party or reception afterwards. The day usually begins in a Synagogue with a formal ceremony where the young person reads from the Torah, and includes speeches, blessings, and much more. Then on to the party to continue the celebration, eat, dance, and shower the teen with gifts. This party is also amid the “wedding” in terms of planning details and complexities.

A Rumspringa is celebrated in the Amish community.² A teen around 16 years old is released from some of the more strict Amish ordnung (orders/rules) to explore life before committing to the church. They are actually encouraged to see what different options life has to offer. It’s not so much a party as a period of time. Generally in their early twenties, an Amish person will make the decision whether or not to join the faith and end their Rumspringa. At that time, they are baptized into the church and accept the responsibilities therein.

Many proud parents have spent hours and money planning these special celebrations for their children. They become event planners for a period of time whether they know it or not. They are working with venues, caterers, and photographers. They are sourcing linens, glassware, dishware, flatware, and decorations. They may even look at a BEO (banquet event order) or two. Hats off to you!

If asked to assist a family in planning a ceremonial celebration of this type, be sure to ask questions, do your research, talk with other planners who have executed an event of this nature before, and work closely with the family. These are very personal, important moments in the lives of these young people and their parents. Seek to understand, take it seriously, and listen well.

What other rites of passage have you planned? Tell us about it here
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1.Encyclopedia Britannica, Quinceanera and Rumspringa, website.
2.The Bar Mitzvah Prep School, A Guide for the Big Day, website.