Traveler’s Tidbits

Hey Baby!
I had a new experience on a recent flight myself. I traveled with a baby. And not just any baby, my new granddaughter. Yes, we had the bucket seat, stroller frame, two backpacks, and two roller bags with us. I had never gone through security with a baby before. After checking the bags, we managed to be the only ones in the standard security line, phew! The TSA agent walked us through it. Bucket seat upside down on the belt. Stroller frame goes with them through the door. Baby and mom together through the metal detector. Backpack with breast milk gets extra hand screening. It takes a little longer, but if you slow down, take one shot at getting things assembled & unassembled, it’s not too bad.

Practice Makes Perfect
When we traveled with the baby, I knew we were going to have to check the bucket seat and stroller frame at the gate. It’s a lot to get things disassembled, frame folded down, and the bucket seat into it’s bag and buttoned up. So, I practiced at home a few times. I wanted to make sure I knew which way things folded, how to lock and unlock the frame, and which way the bucket seat went into the bag. And, it helped me to know how long it took to to all of this so I knew when to start the process at the gate. It went pretty well for both flights. I can say that it will be nice when she’s a little bigger and we can use an umbrella stroller, but until then, NanaBaer is at the ready!

More To Come…

Getting Seated
There is a kind of person I seem to be either sitting in front of or behind lately and it’s time to address this seating faux pas . When you grab the back of the seat in front of you, manhandling your way in and out of your seat, you are shaking the back of my seat over and over. Alternatively, when you plop down into your seat like it’s the first time you’ve sat down in a month and wiggle and push back on your seat, my tray is bouncing like the booty of a rapper’s back up dancer. In either scenario I’m hanging onto my diet Pepsi, computer, and cell phone for dear life. People, remember, your seat is either the front or back of someone elses’s. We’re all connected in this tin tube. A little consideration for someone other than yourself please!

Just Get Up
This is the epitome of laziness and one I haven’t seen in while. I understand that the exit row is slightly more convenient than other seats, but if you’re sitting in the aisle and have been seated before your row mates, get up and allow them access to their seats. Not getting up and making a perfect stranger climb over you and your under-seat carryon is the most selfish and awkward thing you can do on a plane. The same goes if they need to excuse themselves and get out of the row. You are in the aisle seat. The privilege of being the first out of a row and having a bit of breathing room on one side means you have to get up and let others in and out. The world does not revolve around you. Have some manners. Your ability to sit in an aisle seat should be revoked.

Way Too Bright
After being delayed by weather for several hours, having my flight canceled, and being rebooked on the last flight of the day, of course one doesn’t get a choice of seat. Not only that, but I arrived home at midnight instead of noon. I ended up next to an obviously novice traveler. I am one to work on my computer on a flight. It’s dedicated time where I have nothing to do but sit still, which I don’t do very well or often. However, when this traveler pulled out her laptop and turned it on, it was as if the sun just lit up the sky. Mind you the plane was dark; we were traveling at night. Her screen was so bright it actually hurt my eyes. I ended up using the safety card as a sun shield. She was oblivious to the crazy distraction she was to those around her. People, we’re crammed into a small space together. A little consideration please.

Please Wear Pants
If you haven’t been on an airplane, you will most likely be sitting towards the back of the plane. As you move in that direction, the seats get tighter together. There’s not a ton of legroom, nor are the seats vey spacious. Unless you are lucky enough to be sitting next to the Olson twins during their anorexic years, you will end up touching the person next to you. What’s worse is a middle seat because you end up touching people on both sides. I HIGHLY recommend you wear pants. People who wear shorts or short skirts on the plane gross me out. Nobody wants to touch your skin. And if you get two of these folks next to each other, now there’s skin-on-skin action happening! Not only that, do you know how many people sit in those seats?

Your Bag’s Just Too Big
Lately, there have been several carryon bags that are blatantly too big. There’s no way these bags should have been allowed onto the plane. The poor flight attendants push and pull and wrangle and puzzle to get these bags to fit. This just delays everything. Airline workers used to be more strict. I watched while they made my seasoned traveling companion shove her carryon into the little measuring box to prove that it was compliant. I’ve been on flights where the flight attendants have asked the passenger themselves to try to puzzle their bag in and when they failed, whisked the bag off to the gate agent to check it in. I miss those workers. Be sure your carryon is truly a carryon, otherwise, do everyone a favor and pay the $35+ to check it.

Aisle/Carryon Relationship
As you carry your bag down the aisle, you need to remain within the width of the aisle. Yes, it’s narrow, but millions of people manage to do it. It is incredibly annoying to be in my seat and be whapped in the face by your backpack because you chose not to take it off to walk through the aisle. Or you’re carrying an overstuffed Vera Bradley bag sideways and you’re taking out those seated in every aisle seat like a linebacker. If you get on the plane and realize immediately that your bag is too wide, make the adjustment or step aside and ask the flight attendant to help you get your bag checked. Things will go way better for you than if you continue through the plane making enemies in an enclosed space when you have nowhere to go for the next few hours.

Nobody Cares
Mr. Important, as you stand in line to check your bag, truly nobody around you cares who you know, what is going on in the life of your family, where you are traveling to or why, or how much you made in a business deal last year. The fact that you need to seek the attention of people around you, boisterously tell them random facts about yourself, and interrupt their day means to me you are trying to get noticed standing in the priority line. Lame. Zip it, keep your eyes on the movement of the line, and let’s all get to our destination.

Plug It In
For your privacy and the courtesy of those around you, using earbuds or headphones when talking on the phone is greatly appreciated. This is especially important when the person on the other end is saying inappropriate things or you are having a hard time hearing them and they spend half the conversation repeating themselves at a ridiculous volume. And, when the flight attendance tells you for the fourth time that your phone needs to be in airplane mode because we’re taking off, you best listen or suffer the consequences. Nobody’s weekend plans are THAT important. And yes, we ALL know what you were talking about.

C’Mon Granny
I love that older people travel to see their grandkids, vacation together, or take a cruise. Everyone should have fun traveling. When you’re older, retired, and have time and money to travel, God’s speed. However, if you know that speed is no longer in your repertoire and you are shuffling so slowly people think you’re standing still, PLEASE walk on the right of… anything. The escalator, down the hallway, and for the love of all things holy, the TSA Precheck line! Please let others step past you when there are 50 people backed up behind you. They will be long gone by the time you reach security. These are seasoned travelers who have a schedule dependent on their ability to get through security in under an hour.

Jumping Rope
I can understand the need to burn off a little energy, especially after arriving from an international flight. However, there is an appropriate way to do it. Not like the guy I passed on the way to my gate recently at O’Hare. I can almost guarantee he did not just arrive from a grueling 9-hour flight. He chose to pass the time by jumping rope just outside the gate area and not in a “one-and-a-two…” sort of way but as if he was out to settle a score with the rope. I’ve never seen a jump rope go around and around an adult with such vigor. Sadly, he was half in the aisle of the terminal so he had a walking audience of gawkers. May I remind un-seasoned travelers that not everything you do in the privacy of your home is acceptable behavior at the airport. Save it for the gym

Airline Aerobics
So, not only did I experience the jump rope guy on this last trip, I was mortified by the couple in front of me on the plane. They insisted on doing aerobic routines in their seats. They were in the bulkhead seats which have a LITTLE extra leg room but not a ton and have the wall in front of them separating them from business class. From her seat, the woman would stretch her legs straight up over her head like a contortionist. The man was stretching his arms and twisting his back as if he was preparing to run the Chicago marathon. On top of that, he turned around to face our row to perform deep knee bends and other random stretches which led him him to hang over the back of his chair. Luckily he ended up face to face with the guy next to me. I’m not sure I would have responded as graciously to having this aerobic stranger hanging in my face.

International Overnights
When flying to Europe from the US it is most convenient to take an overnight flight. You have dinner, take a nap, wake up, and land at a proper time of the day. The same shy couple doing airplane aerobics proceeded to talk ALL night. The woman spent hours explaining the back story of a TV show to her husband that he has clearly never watched. The man responded ALL night indicating he didn’t hear a word she said. “Huh?” and “What did you say?” in a loud voice was like a torture device on replay . I was hoping that after an hour or so it would stop. Nope. I was on an 8 hour flight with a play-by-play narrator and her hard-of-hearing seatmate. People, the airline has made it clear we should be sleeping; the cabin lights are out, flight attendants are buckled in, nobody else it up. Quiet down!

There Are No Cup Holders On the Plane
If you brought your $14 Trenta iced soy Mocha Frappuccino with you onto the plane, not only will you have to navigate getting your bag into the overhead bin with it in your hand, you will also have to squeeze into your seat, get your personal item under the seat in front of you, and buckle in. This will also inevitably lead to getting the whole row up so you can recuse yourself to the miniature onboard bathroom which will also be an experience.

You Have An Assigned Seat
Unless you are flying Southwest, you have an assigned seat. You cannot stop and sit in the first open seat you find. Please take a moment to find your seat number on your ticket. There is also a seat diagram in the airline app with your seat identified for you. It’s a really handy feature. A flight attendant can also point you in the right direction if you are lost, but giving up and selecting the closest one to you like a game of musical chairs is not the answer.

Understand The Numbers
The front portion of the plane is generally reserved for those passengers who travel quite a bit and have racked up some airline miles. Most often, those who don’t travel much are assigned seats toward the back of the plane. It’s just how it works. Rows 25 and above are well after the wing of the plane. There is no need to stop and look at the number for every row starting at the front. Keep on walking please. The faster we all get on and seated, the more likely we can leave on time.

Overhead Bin Etiquette
The luggage you carry onto the plane goes into the overhead bins wheels first. Wheels first. Wheels…..first. This means that the wheels of the bag enter the compartment first which makes sense since you are holding it by the handle to lift it into the bin. Conveniently, when you are ready to exit the plane, the handle is visible and easily accessible for you to grab it and go. Why you would put it in using the handle, then turn the luggage completely around, touching the wheels that have been dragging on the dirty airport floor, escapes me.

You Get One Seat
You get the seat you are assigned to. No more. I get the seat I am assigned to. Also, no more. You also get the corresponding space under the seat in front of you and a place just below you for your feet. We have to share the armrest. We do not have to share any other physical spaces during the flight and I’d rather not act as your pillow for the afternoon. Please, keep your hands and arms inside the ride at all times.

Keep It To Yourself
We will most likely never meet again. I’m ok with the usual pleasantries when we sit down, but honestly, we don’t need to share the moments of our lives. You are a stranger to me. I don’t want to tell you where I’m from or where I’m going. I won’t remember your name or what you do in the next few minutes anyway. It’s not personal, I have a lot of details running through my head. I travel enough that I either need to get some work done or am in need of some “alone” time.

Put Your Clothes On
This is not your home. This is a hotel. Put your clothes on to come to breakfast. There are people here who you don’t know; families with children and people on their way to work. It is just plain rude to think that it is socially acceptable to show up in public without your clothes on. It is not a zoom call, you are actually here.

Put Your Shoes On
Put your shoes on to go to breakfast. Again, this is not your home. You are leaving your room and entering a public shared space. Nobody wants to see your gnarly toes before coffee. It’s incredibly unappetizing. Why do you think historically stores have had signs in their windows, “No shirt, No shoes, No service?”

It’s A Continental Breakfast
The complimentary breakfast is a nice addition to your stay at the hotel. It is usually continental-style meaning, there are light offerings of eggs, sausage, cereal, muffins, bagels, yogurt, coffee, juice, and the occasional waffle station. It’s not designed to be the hearty, all-you-can-eat Las Vegas buffet for $9.99. If you are that hungry, head out for a proper breakfast.

Clean Up After Yourself
I am sure (or at least I hope) you don’t drop food on the floor, leave dirty plates on the table, spill sugar and creamer on the countertops, and leave your chair pushed away from the table without doing anything about it at home. Staying at a hotel and partaking in the in-house breakfast does not give you permission to forget your manners. Please take the few extra seconds to ensure if the hotel staff doesn’t make it back immediately, the next person can at least sit down.

Be Nice
After the world came to a stop, hospitality workers became hard to come by. Some hotels are scheduling their staff to work in unfamiliar departments. They are learning on-the-job how to do things like man the front desk and check-in people, housekeeping, and yes, setting up and cleaning up breakfast. While taking advantage of complimentary breakfast, please be kind to those who are serving you.

Baggage Claim Poker
Not only do your bags not teleport themselves to the baggage claim area at the speed of light, but it can feel a little like poker – a game of luck – when waiting for your bag. It could be first, it could be last. Nobody knows. While you wait, however, crowding around the conveyor belt, arm-in-arm with your comrades so the 5 foot-rest-of-us can’t even see what is coming around the corner, is just bad form. Step back. Wait your turn.

When Boarding, The Traffic Flows IN
When boarding, traffic in the aisles flows IN to the plane. If there isn’t a place for your bag near your seat and it ends up a few rows back, you need to wait until the incoming traffic has cleared the aisle before you return to your seat. Pushing your way upstream to return to your seat is both rude and unnecessary. Your seat is not going anywhere. It is assigned to you so nobody is going to sit in it. You will be sitting for the length of your flight once the plane leaves the gate so go ahead and enjoy a few more moments of standing while you say hello to the flight attendant at the back of the plane.

Be Patient
There will inevitably be a gap in the incoming traffic. Some guy will stand in the aisle, take off his jacket, load his rolling bag in the overhead bin handle first, fuss with getting the bag turned around, stuff his personal item and his jacket into the overhead bin, and just before he sits down, decides there really IS something he wants from his backpack so he jams up the aisle for another 2 minutes while he fumbles around only to remember he already stuffed his earphones into his shirt pocket. THIS is the time you should strike and find your way back to your seat if possible. Otherwise, just wait.

The Row Hop Game
When the plane lands at its destination, you now have to play the row hop game. It is not ok for you to push your way back several rows through the stream of people coming toward the front. You ended up with your bag at the back of the plane. Now, you must wait until the aisle is free up to the row where your bag is stowed. You should remain in your seat until the rows behind you have cleared. You can wait until people behind you pause to pull their bags from the overhead bins. This is where the row hop game comes in. While they do that, you can hop to the row behind you… over and over until you end up back to the row where your bag is.

Suitcases Aren’t Bulletproof
While we would all like to think our hard-earned money is being well spent when we purchase expensive luggage, all bags at some point are subject to travel scars. Have you seen some of the cases that come off the baggage carousel? There’s no way the pretty pink plastic shell on your suitcase is going to withstand being slammed into by a 150 pound road case filled with camera equipment. Wheels and handles should be considered disposable items. Understanding this from the start will hopefully curb your response when you find that your suitcase arrives wrapped in a plastic bag one day.

The Security Conveyor Belt
When you put your luggage in the overhead bin in the airplane, I can’t stress this enough that it goes in WHEELS FIRST. That should be a no brainer. You are holding the handle. Pick it up and put the bag in wheels first. Then, when you need to go, you can grab the handle and leave. However, when you go through the security check point, it makes logical sense to put your bags through the conveyor belt HANDLE FIRST. This way when it comes out the other side, again, you can grab the handle and go. You don’t have to fumble to turn the bag around, get in everyone’s way, find the handle and then walk away. We’d all move a little faster if everyone’d put their bag onto the conveyor belt handle first.

Random Security Selection
You might, occasionally, get stopped for a “random” security check. I say “random” because as much as I’d like to think the machine dings randomly, I swear for a year, I was constantly singled out for the body scanner every time I traveled. Granted, I do have a decent-sized tattoo on my arm and dyed bright blue streaks in my hair. Conveniently when I stopped doing this, so did the “random” body scanning. Anyway, there is no need to get all wigged out when the “random” body scan selects you to go through the machine at the security check-point. Just follow the instructions of the TSA agent. Behave in any other manner and you’ll have a different experience.

Nothing Is Sacred
It is the job of the TSA to screen for things that people could use to harm the pilots or one another while on an airplane. They may occasionally open your luggage to peruse it and leave a love note for you to find when you reach your destination. Or, they may pull your bag out of line while at the security check point. Unless you are deliberately trying to smuggle more than your 3:1:1 or a weapon on the plane, don’t panic. The agent wants to confirm what they see on the screen and move on just as much as you do. Neither of you want your “dirty laundry” aired for all to see.

Pack a Snack
For those of you who haven’t traveled in a while (or at all) and haven’t listened to any stand-up comedians in the last decade, airport food is expensive. Not only that, but since the covid shut-down, airport workers (like many industries) are not back to full staff and many food outlets are still closed. As such, let me suggest you pack a snack. Shelf-stable, non-refrigerated, not-easily-squished items like nuts/trail mix, granola bars, tangerines/apples, or non-chocolate candy. Especially now with the flight delays we have been experiencing, you don’t want to get caught paying $24 for a cold sandwich or $12 for a cup of coffee if you can avoid it.

Reno 3-1-1...
Since 9/11, the rules for carrying liquids has been the same. As of today, that is 21 years ago. By now, anyone, even if you’ve never traveled, should understand that in your carryon bags:
—(3) Your liquid containers can be a maximum of 3oz each. It does NOT mean you have a larger container but only have approximately 3oz left.
—(1) ALL of your 3oz or less liquid containers must fit into only ONE quart-sized ziplock bag, not each item in its own bag.
—(1) Each person is only allowed ONE quart bag, not as many bags as it will take to get all of your items to your destination.

Traveling with Kids
When prepared, it can be done well. Plan for everything to take longer. Packing, traveling between venues, security, eating, going to the bathroom, etc. Assuming you won’t have TSA precheck, be prepared to take everyone’s jackets and shoes off, and take all liquids and electronics out of your bags. Try these tidbits:
++Check at least 1 suitcase. Whether it’s cold at home or cold where you’re going, once at the airport, put jackets inside the bag before checking it. This way you are not fussing with them at security or on the plane and you have them when you arrive.
++Put all liquids into the checked bag except essentials and consolidate what you’re carrying into 1 bag.
++Have everyone wear slip-on shoes.
++Use a roller bag instead of a shoulder bag. Trust me.

Know What’s In Your Luggage
I saw a woman in security who was mortified when she went through the security checkpoint and had her bag pulled aside for inspection by a TSA agent. What she didn’t realize was that her travel companion thought it would be funny to put something into her bag that wasn’t hers. It was something indecent and embarrassed both the TSA agent and the traveler. The “friend” thought it was hilarious and in this case it might have been, but it could also get a person in trouble. There’s a reason your bag should be under your observation at all times. If you can’t trust your friend to watch your bag while you run to the bathroom, perhaps you shouldn’t leave your bag unattended or you may need new friends. If this poor lady had gotten a different TSA agent without a sense of humor, things might have gone differently for her.

Drunk Guy on a Plane
Once in a while, people have too much time before or between flights and spend their time at the airport bar. Sometimes, they have a little too much to drink. They are not supposed to be allowed on the plane, especially if they are loud and obnoxious. Occasionally they slip past the gate agents. It happens often enough there has even been a country song written about this guy. I have been in line to board the plane with this guy. I have sat on the plane near this guy. Don’t be this guy. This guy is annoying.

Download the App
When preparing to fly, be sure to download the airline’s app. This is a critical piece to the travel puzzle. You will be notified of flight delays or cancellations via the app. These days, unfortunately, that happens a bit. You have access to your boarding pass, can select a different seat, or rebook your flight via the app. Without it, your flight will be a quiet one as it is also required if you want to access the in-flight entertainment. It will greatly enhance your travel experience.

App Boarding Pass Tidbit
Here’s a tidbit that nobody tells you and it can really ruin your day if you don’t know… If you have downloaded your boarding pass to your Apple wallet from the app, IT DOES NOT UPDATE. Be sure to check the app as your flight nears. Often, the gate of your departure changes and the only way you will know is to refresh your ticket within the app. I have found it’s best not to download the ticket to the wallet. Right before boarding, screenshot the ticket if you are afraid of not accessing it quickly enough.

Nothing to Lose Your Head Over
Recently, some airlines have put us through flight delays and cancellations more than others. Unfortunately, I fly one of these airlines on a regular basis. Sometimes, we are legitimately delayed because of weather or mechanical issues. Regardless, getting angry, yelling at the gate agent, swearing under your breath, complaining to everyone around you, and stomping around like a 5 year old for the duration of the delay will not get you anywhere any faster. Sit down and be quiet. Nobody wants to hear it.

Do You Have the Right App?
I was helping someone who never travels prepare for their trip. I suggested they download the airlines app (see “Download the App” above) among other travel and packing tidbits. I received a panicked text the morning of their trip that the airline had no record of their upcoming flight and they couldn’t get their boarding pass. The issue? Trying to locate their American Airlines ticket on the United app. That will never work.

Check Your Airport Terminal
I ran into someone recently who was lamenting that they missed their flight. I asked why (it usually leads to a funny story). They were running late so they asked the shuttle driver to drop them at the closest terminal (terminal 1). They were flying a different airline out of terminal 3. The TSA agent would not let them through security here, this person had to go to their assigned terminal to pass security. Shortcuts almost never work out. Leave enough time to do things right the first time.

Hold the Perfume
When preparing to get on an airplane, please consider those who have to sit in close proximity to you and skip the dime store perfume or cheap cologne. Not everyone can tolerate your smell. I, for one, am highly allergic to scents. I end up with watery eyes, a runny nose, I have sneezing fits, and turn into a slobbering mess for a week. Feel free to do what you do if you’re going for an open air walk alone or in are in the confines of your own home, but on a plane, please refrain.

Aisle Hog
I don’t know why I am still amazed at the behavior of unseasoned travelers. As I watched people attempt to board a plane recently, I was entertained and annoyed as a couple continued to interrupt the flow of incoming passengers by constantly stepping into the aisle from their seats to take out and return personal items from the overhead bin. Legit, they did this on multiple occasions. The flight attendants made multiple announcements for them to get out of the way to no avail. Some of us would like to get this show on the road.

Hotel Robe Etiquette
The hotel robe provided is a luxury to be used within the confines of your room. Maybe if you have a spa appointment and the hotel elevator goes directly from your floor to the spa and it dumps you out at the spa’s front door, you can wear it out. It is not to be worn in public. Certainly not in the hotel lobby. It is not a bathing suit cover-up. It is not to cover your PJs while you run to the on-site commissary. It most certainly isn’t appropriate for you and your travel-mate to wear them as matching family holiday card outfits as you strut around the perimeter of the hotel on your personal parade.

The Unfortunate Reschedule
With the unfortunate state of airline travel these days, flights are being canceled and rescheduled more often than anyone would like. What I fail to comprehend is how the airline determines which flight to put you on as a replacement. Yes, they have no way of knowing why anyone is traveling; vacation, to attend a conference, etc. but most likely these flights were selected for a reason. People may have connecting flights, are standing up in a wedding, or speaking at said conference. C’mon airlines. Please provide more than 4 hours notice in the middle of the night and do a better job of scheduling a comparable flight time, not one 2 days later.