Let’s Go To Dinner

What event professional doesn’t love to plan a simple dinner party? Is there such a thing as a simple dinner party? There is a misconception that planning a dinner party is significantly less work than planning a conference for a thousand people. Yes and no. A dinner party may not have the scale and scope of a conference but it can certainly have complexity. Consider the challenges of navigating a place setting. Table etiquette can be tough. There is a lot of silverware to look at, nobody understands which water glass is theirs, and there always seems to be a conversation after the cordial greetings over which bread plate to use. How can you keep it all straight? Here are a couple tricks you can use to ensure you’re prepared the next time you are invited to dinner.

First, the place setting. After sitting down, you may see three forks, three spoons (including one across the top of the plate), a dinner plate, bread plate, water goblet, and wine glass. Somewhere there is a napkin. It may be on the plate or with the silverware. Always put the napkin in your lap. Then, a simple way to remember which utensil to use for what is to eat from the outside-in. Only the silverware necessary for the scheduled meal should be set. Salad fork first, then dinner fork, etc. Soup spoon, aperitif, palate cleanser, etc. The dessert spoon is the one across the top.

Second, an easy-to-remember way to know which bread plate and drinkware is yours is to hold your hands up and put your index fingers and your thumbs together like an “ok” sign and put all of your other fingers together. The left hand creates a “b” and the right hand creates a “d.” This indicates that the “b”read plate on the left is yours and the “d”rinkware on the right are yours. If everyone does this, things will work out just right.

Third, after the bread has been passed around the table, guess what comes next? You got it, butter. I don’t know why so many people struggle with butter. It goes with the bread every time. There is a little etiquette around butter that more people need to understand. If it is whipped and served in a cup, take a little scoop using the butter knife and scrape off the knife onto a clean edge of your plate. If the butter is in pats (individual servings), again, using the butter knife, take a pat or two and place them on a clean portion of your plate. At no point do you stop and butter anything using the community butter knife. Never.

Lastly, when dining family-style, why is there a discussion about which way to pass things around the table? Pass it to the right every time. This would facilitate getting the dressing onto the salad more efficiently and ensure everyone gets all of the dishes in a meal.

Emily Post made a living writing about etiquette. I’m sure she’d be mortified at the casual nature of society these days. No doubt more people need a little more savvy than they have. By implementing and sharing these few tidbits at your next dinner party, you will not only look like the smart one at the table, you’ll avoid the uncomfortable conversation with your neighbor about them drinking from your water glass.

Do you have a pithy way to remember dinner etiquette? Share it here or send me an email. We could all benefit from it.

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