Close Encounters

Countries and cultures dress differently, speak other languages, have distinct etiquette practices, and other features that set them apart from one another. No surprise here. When my husband and I travel to Europe, Germany specifically, there’s a practice when dining that I think would unnerve most Americans. It certainly caught me off guard the first time we went. My husband grew up in an airline family; they traveled all the time. I grew up in a farm town family; we did a lot of camping-an international vacation was never in the cards. The first time I went to Germany was on our honeymoon almost 25 years ago. I experienced the same thing this past year when we visited, but this time I was ready.

After flying all night, taking the train, and finally getting checked into our hotel while starting our honeymoon, we were ready for something to eat. Back then a lot of the restaurants looked like they used to be someone’s home, the front room had now been converted to an eight-table place to eat and Frau was in the kitchen cooking as if an army of her friends and family members were going to walk in the door at any moment. We found what looked like a nice place so we went in. Frau indicated we should sit at the overgrown picnic table. Very few items were on the menu but what was there was exactly what we wanted; potato salad, wurst, and spaetzle.  

Shortly after we sat down, another couple arrived, Frau had them sit at the table next to us, and I don’t mean at a separate table near ours, I mean at the same table, right next to us, on the same benches and all. There were like six other open tables, what gives? We made eye contact, said a few welcoming pleasantries, and pretended not to hear everything they were saying. About 15 minutes later another couple showed up to eat. Where do you think they were seated? Yep, you guessed it, at the same table and benches with the four of us. Now we’re one big happy family of strangers out to dinner.

If this were a restaurant in the US and the hostess sat another couple at your table, you’d probably ask her to reseat you. Some might do their best to ignore the fact that there are other people at your table and do your best Mime impression of having invisible glass between you. I imagine that some of you might decide to eat somewhere else. I do actually think there are enough extroverts out there that you would make new friends who might turn out to be your kids’ Godparents one day. However, my prediction is the majority of the US culture would initially be taken aback by this practice.

Not in Germany. They love community. They want to dine with other people. Meeting new friends, eating a good meal, drinking beer, and hanging out for hours is what their culture is used to. Without being told, they will seat themselves at tables with other people. Just sit back and watch what happens at the Hofbräuhaus. I love to people-watch and could sit for hours watching people come and go and chat and drink and sit with people they don’t know and have a great time. The entire restaurant is designed for this. If you’ve never been, it is made up of long tables with picnic bench seating. There are very few actual individual seats in the place. People just keep scooting in to squeeze more people on the bench. Community.

In Frau’s front room that night we fumbled our way through German conversation as I ate my schnitzel and potato salad with our new friends. Frau was delighted that she had a table of “family” to feed and we could have stayed all night if we didn’t ask for the check. She only had one table to clean up at a time as people continually sat at tables together as we watched them come and go. I think we should all try it the next time we are eating out and see what happens. Who knows, you just might meet the most interesting person in the world.

Have you had an experience where someone was seated at your table? Or you were seated at a table with someone else? Share your story here or send me an email!

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